This is a little on the personal side and may be difficult for some to read, so I apologize and warn my readers in advance ......
Last week was a rough week for me. I had two last-minute shoots pop up that really affected me on both a personal and professional level ... one last family shoot for a heroic dog (that blog will come soon) and a shoot that words can't even begin to describe - a sleeping angel.
I received a call early last Friday morning from a friend of mine, explaining that one of her good friends had lost her full-term baby and she asked me to come to the hospital (with the family's permission), to come capture a few moments with their child. I knew that if the situation were reversed, I would want someone to do this for me - my heart absolutely broke for this family, and of course I knew I had to go, no matter what. I talked with a few of my photographer friends and with their encouragement, I looked up sites like
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep so I could grasp what I was going to do for this family - I have never done anything like this before and knew it wouldn't be like any other shoot I've ever done in the 15+ years I've been behind a camera.
It's an hour of my life that really - I think changed me, both personally and professionally. I had never met these two wonderful, warm-hearted people before ... but I went and took some pictures of their beautiful baby, them holding him, his tiny little fingers. I cried nearly the entire time, cried with them, silently praying for strength and healing for their family. I was there not as Ashley the photographer - but as Ashley the human, the woman, the mother, and I think that it shows through the pictures. It was entirely new way of looking through the lens.
My heart is still aching from that short hour with this family and they are in my continued prayers ... I am forever changed as a mother and photographer after this shoot. It was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done - ever - but I hope that what I was able to do will help their family heal.